"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." James Allen.
Often people think that there are those who are naturally confident and those who has to struggle in this area. In this article series I will discuss three methods to create self confidence.
Method one is by using words. Yes it is that easy, words ! We actually take word for granted because we have used them all our lives without realizing how powerful words affect us. Words start and end wars ! Words can actually affect how we think and feel. And because humans are generally emotional beings first, how we feel will have a direct impact on how we act and that will influence the outcome of all our efforts. In my mind, the two main ways we use words can be divided internally and externally.
Internally, the choice of words we have when we are faced with challenges, for instance, will greatly have an influence on how we think and feel. If we say " my God, I will die", when given a task to present for example, then that will weaken us and thus whatever effort we produce later will parallel those words. On the other hand if we say, "...great, here comes an opportunity to expand and increase my skill", then the efforts that follows will definitely have a better outcome !
As such, be careful when choosing words in your minds. In effect, every moment of our waking lives as humans we run monologues in our minds. The quality of that monologue will significantly affect the quality of our actions and therefore our outcomes. No wonder some people are more energetic than others and some are more motivated than others.
Further than that, this concept leads us to the idea that we can largely control the outcome of our efforts. If we do not like any outcome presented to us, then change the internal scripts and pretty soon we will get a different result. This is because we can control the words we want to allow as our dominant thought. Afterall we are what we think of all day long. To quote Tyron Edwards, Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.
Among sources of words that we allow into our thought, thus our realm, are songs, conversation with other people, the newspaper, the internet, the television, the radio and a myriad of medium that we use in this modern day and age. I suggest if we want to control how we feel and think we must choose what we hear and watch and read everyday. This is active scanning of the media so that we do not passively allow everything presented before us to enter our minds and effect us. We must treat our minds like a garden by choosing the plants to grow and keep while getting rid of weeds continously.
Napoleon Hill said it best to summarize this point when he said "You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and yet you have the key in your own hands, and you may use it the moment you learn to control your thoughts".So the next time you think, be aware of the words you use. Analyze them and change accordingly if you find that you are using words that weaken instead of empower you.
Externally, how we use words on others will also affect how we interact with others. Externally, how we use words on others will also affect how we interact with others. Sir Arthur quipped, “Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away." We will remember kind words for very long time. In fact I do remember some of the kindest words said to me more that 30 years ago ! Imagine how deep words can effect others. it goes without saying that if we want to positively improve our relationship with others, we need to start looking at our connection at the word level and then work our way up.
My personal favorite words from the wise.
Empty heads have long tongues – Bruce Lee
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. – Plato
Language has three important uses--it expresses thought, conceals thought, and takes the place of thought. –Unknown
The words we say will teach if we practice what we preach. --Unknown
By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. --Winston Churchill
When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing. —Unknown
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. --Dorothy Nevill
Great minds talk about ideas, Average minds talk about things, Small minds talk about other people. --Unknown
Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is. --Blaise Pascal
The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking. ~Albert Einstein
What luck for rulers, that men do not think. ~Adolph Hitler
For those who do not think, it is best at least to rearrange their prejudices once in a while. ~Luther Burbank
